(or – ‘It’s such a sweet tune you’re playin’ on m’ bag’)
The Scotsman’s Bag
Another in a series of ‘lets sneak in a double and triple entendre’ skit.
This one had us smiling because we made a headliner snort up his breakfast. You can read that whole story HERE. I’ll talk about the original skit after the break.
This started because Pat was living on Plum Island, and took up the bagpipes. Bagpipes are loud, obnoxious, and quite funny if you annoy people with them. They also are a true musical instrument that you need to keep in tune and practice to get anything resembling a harmonic melody out of them.
We didn’t succeed much on either count with Pat’s bagpipes, but we did get a good skit out of them.
We envisioned a ‘Mr. Rodger’s type show with a visiting Scotsman. Then it all went down hill. How many ways can you allude to sticking things in your mouth and blowing? I think we maximized the number in a 3 minute skit. Somehow we did get this aired several times at WHEB-FM – Perhaps they were intimidated when we brought the pipes into the studio, and it confused them so they ignored the actual words of the skit. I hope so.
If you can picture Pat at one mic and I’m sitting at another, while we try and do this in a small studio, with windows pointing out into the hallway at the station. Yeah, it must have been an interesting sight.
When we did this live in Willkes-Barre on the radio, the Rev. Billy C. Wirtz said he choked on his breakfast in the van coming over to the show. We took that as a high compliment. It was almost like we were professionals at this thing, which was odd, since we were actually being paid for a living at the time to do it. Enjoy!

If I had a dollar for every time Mark Haskins or Bill Spring or Allan Morgan repeated this skit to me…well, I’d probably have about 80 or 90 dollars.
For Mark, and Bill, and Allan, this is the reason the internet was invented.
I almost agree. Definitely in the Top Ten of BYD material, if not Number One Of All Time.
The greatness of this bit cannot be argued with.
Thanks – I thought it was a good one, but didn’t know it was top 10 material.
You can’t discount the laughs of a good dick joke, I guess…